Coping with the Pressure to get into a Good College
Written By Lane Balaban
Contrary to what movies and TV shows might suggest, high school isn’t all school dances and football games. Especially by junior year, a major source of stress for many teens is the pressure to get into a “good college.”
That pressure doesn’t just come from parents or teachers; it also comes from within. In today’s world of constant online comparisons, it’s easy to feel like college admissions are the ultimate measure of your worth or potential. But let’s be clear: they’re not.
Let’s talk about what this pressure actually looks like, where it comes from, and how to protect your mental health while still working toward your goals.
Why the College Application Process Feels So Overwhelming
By the time you're thinking about applications, your plate is already full: schoolwork, extracurriculars, maybe a part-time job or family responsibilities. Now you’re being asked to squeeze in personal essays, campus visits, test prep, and application deadlines… all while figuring out what you actually want to do with your future.
On top of that, you’re surrounded by outside noise:
“You need a backup school.”
“Don’t waste your GPA on a school like that.”
“You should apply early decision.”
“Your cousin just got into an Ivy…”
Even the most confident teen can start to feel anxious, behind, or like nothing is good enough.
And here's the truth: The pressure to get into a “top” school can impact your mental health. You may start to question your abilities, feel like you're constantly behind, or spiral into perfectionism or burnout. This stress is real—and it’s valid.
How to Cope with the Pressure to Get Into a “Good” School
1. Redefine What “Good” Means
Let’s bust the myth right now: There is no single definition of a “good college.”
A good school is one that:
Feels like a good fit for your learning style and goals
Offers the programs or environment that support your growth
Works for you financially, geographically, and emotionally
It might be a big-name university, or it might be a local community college or a gap year that leads to clarity. This decision is about you, not anyone else’s definition of prestige.
2. Practice Daily Self-Care
When stress is high, routines matter more than ever. You’re not weak or lazy for needing sleep, rest, or downtime. In fact, self-care habits like:
Consistent sleep
Movement or exercise
Nourishing food
Tech breaks
Creative outlets or relaxation
…are what make your brain better at focusing, planning, and writing those essays. You don’t need to grind until you burn out, you need to recharge regularly so you can keep going.
3. Celebrate the Small Wins
Finished a personal statement? Submitted one application? Researched your college list? That’s a win.
The college process is made up of small steps that can easily go unnoticed unless you pause to acknowledge them. Try setting mini-milestones and taking a moment to feel proud after each one.
This isn’t just about getting in; it’s also about learning how to stay organized, advocate for yourself, and move through challenges. These are skills you’ll take with you no matter where you go.
4. Resist the Comparison Trap
This is hard. Social media and school hallways can turn college decisions into a performance: “Who’s going where? Who got in early?”
You might feel like you're falling behind or that your value is tied to the name on your acceptance letter. But please know: Your worth is not defined by an algorithm, a decision portal, or a ranking.
If needed, take breaks from social media during application season. Protect your peace. This is your journey, not a competition.
5. Talk It Out with Someone Who Gets It
Even the most supportive parents can carry their own hopes, fears, or expectations that make this process feel more intense. That’s why having a neutral, trusted adult to talk to—like a teen therapist—can make a huge difference.
In therapy, you can:
Process the anxiety and overwhelm of the admissions process
Work through perfectionism, burnout, or fear of failure
Set realistic goals without internalizing unrealistic pressure
Remember who you are outside of this process
You don’t have to carry all of this alone.
It’s Okay Not to Have It All Figured Out
College is an important step, but it is not the final verdict on your future, your intelligence, or your potential. You are more than your GPA. More than your acceptance letters. More than what anyone else expects of you.
You can take back control of the admissions process, but you may need some guidance. I work with teens just like you: bright, motivated, overwhelmed, and trying to navigate the pressure of growing up in a high-achieving world. Together, we can sort through the noise and find your next steps
If you are interested in working with a teen counselor, let’s connect and talk more!.