Five Simple Tools to Help Teens Regulate Their Emotions
Written By Lane Balaban
Emotional regulation isn’t about never getting upset, it’s about learning how to ride the wave without getting swept away. For teens, that skill takes practice, and often, they need help finding strategies that actually work in the moment.
Without tools for emotional regulation, teens can quickly spiral into shame, avoidance, or explosive outbursts. If your teen struggles to stay calm, express their feelings, or bounce back after a tough day, they’re not alone.
The good news? There are simple, evidence-based tools that can help calm the nervous system, reduce overwhelm, and build emotional resilience over time.
Here are five regulation strategies that teens can try when they’re feeling anxious, shut down, or on edge:
1. Name It to Tame It
One of the fastest ways to regulate an emotion is to name it. Instead of “I’m fine” or “I don’t know,” try getting specific: “I feel nervous,” “I’m disappointed,” or “I’m overwhelmed.” Putting feelings into words calms the nervous system and helps teens move from reaction to reflection.
Encourage your teen to ask: What am I feeling right now? What’s underneath that feeling?
Giving a name, like “I’m feeling embarrassed,” or “I’m actually just really tired”, helps the brain shift out of survival mode.
Tip: Use an emotion wheel or feelings chart for support; many teens find it easier to point to a word than come up with one on their own.
Why it works: Labeling emotions activates the prefrontal cortex and helps the brain feel more in control.
2. Move Your Body
Sometimes, you can’t “think” your way out of anxiety or frustration. That’s when movement helps.
This doesn’t have to mean a full workout; teens can:
Jump in place for 30 seconds
Go for a walk or stretch
Sway back and forth
Dance to one favorite song
Movement is one of the fastest ways to shift emotional energy. These small actions can signal to the brain: You’re safe now. You’re okay.
Bonus: Regulating the body also boosts focus and lowers impulsivity, great for teens dealing with ADHD or high emotional sensitivity.
Why it works: Movement signals safety to the nervous system and releases built-up cortisol.
3. Create a Sensory Reset Kit
A weighted blanket. A favorite playlist. Lavender oil. Crunchy snacks. Teens can build a small collection of items that feel grounding and comforting when emotions are high. This helps shift attention from spiraling thoughts to the senses.
Tip: Keep it simple, 3–5 go-to items in a box, drawer, or backpack can make all the difference.
If they don’t have access to their kit, that’s okay too! Grounding through the senses helps teens come back to the present when they feel overwhelmed.
Try:
Running hands under warm water
Holding an ice cube
Noticing 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste
Why it works: Sensory input helps regulate the brain’s stress response and brings attention back to the here and now.
4. Try a Self-Compassion Break
Many teens are harder on themselves than they’d ever be on a friend. When big emotions hit, they might say things like “I’m so dramatic” or “What’s wrong with me?” Instead, pause and practice this three-part statement:
This is a moment of struggle.
Struggle is part of being human.
I can be kind to myself right now like I would for my best friend.
This gentle shift helps reduce shame and encourages more balanced emotional processing.
5. Hum, Sing, or Talk Out Loud
Vocalizing is a surprising but powerful tool to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
Teens can:
Hum their favorite tune
Sing in the shower
Read a poem out loud
Make a low “mmmm” sound and feel the vibration
Why it works: These actions stimulate the vagus nerve and help the body shift into a calmer, more regulated state.
Why Regulation Matters
Emotions, especially the intense ones, feel like they’ll last forever, but they rarely do. These regulation practices teach your teen that emotions are manageable and not dangerous.
You don’t need to get it perfect. The goal isn’t to never feel upset, it’s to know how to be with your feelings without getting totally overwhelmed by them. The more they practice these tools, the more confident and resilient they’ll feel the next time big emotions hit.
A Note for Parents
Teens often won’t use these tools in the heat of the moment unless they’ve practiced them when calm. You can help by modeling the same tools yourself, like taking a breath, naming your own emotions, or inviting movement during a tough moment.
Make it collaborative and low-pressure: “I noticed you seem stressed, want to walk the dog together and shake it off a little?”
Emotional regulation is a skill, one that improves with time, support, and consistency. If your teen is struggling to handle big feelings or bounce back from stress, you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out about teen therapy.
