How Teens with ADHD Can Build and Maintain Friendships

Written By Lane Balaban

Teenagers with ADHD often have big hearts, bright minds, and boundless energy, but navigating the social world doesn’t always come easily. While they may crave connection just like any other teen, things like impulsivity, distraction, emotional sensitivity, or difficulty reading cues can make friendships feel more complicated than comforting.

As a teen therapist and former school counselor, I’ve seen firsthand how frustrating and confusing this can be for both teens and their parents. The good news? Social skills can be built, friendships can grow, and support makes a real difference.

If your teen has ADHD and struggles to maintain relationships, here are some practical, compassionate tips to help them feel more connected and confident in their social world.

How to Help Neurodiverse Teens Build and Keep Friendships

1. Help Them Understand How ADHD Affects Social Life

The first step is self-awareness. Teens with ADHD often don’t realize how their behavior affects others or why certain patterns keep repeating. A teen might interrupt without meaning to, miss subtle body language cues, or get overwhelmed in large group settings.

Frame it this way: “Your brain processes things quickly and differently, and that can make friendships tricky sometimes. But tricky doesn’t mean impossible.”

When teens understand their brains better, they can begin to notice their patterns, develop empathy for themselves, and make intentional changes over time.

2. Teach Conversation as a Skill (Not an Expectation)

Social conversation is often assumed to be natural, but for teens with ADHD, it’s a skill set that benefits from structure and modeling.

You can help by walking them through simple frameworks like:

• Asking open-ended questions (“What did you think of that movie?” vs. “Did you like it?”)

• Pausing before responding (counting 3 seconds in their head can help)

• Practicing how to join a group without interrupting

Role-playing or watching social situations in shows and talking about what worked (or didn’t) can help teens decode the “unwritten rules” of connection.

3. Focus on Quality Over Quantity

It’s okay if your teen doesn’t have a huge group of friends. In fact, many teens with ADHD thrive with just one or two solid, accepting friendships.

Remind them:

“You don’t need to be everyone’s person. You just need your people.”

Encourage them to invest in relationships that feel reciprocal, low-drama, and emotionally safe, even if that means opting out of larger or more chaotic social scenes.

4. Support Emotion Regulation and Self-Awareness

Teens with ADHD often feel emotions fast and big, and may struggle with impulsive reactions during social stress. One moment they’re laughing, the next they’re shutting down or snapping. This can confuse peers and cause friction.

Help your teen build emotional insight with gentle questions like:

• “What was going on in your body right before that happened?”

• “How did you feel afterward?”

• “What might you try next time if that happens again?”

These kinds of reflective tools build an important pause or space between impulse and action. And that space is where new choices (and better outcomes) live.

5. Normalize Mistakes and Keep Practicing

Friendship missteps will happen. Teens may forget plans, say something awkward, or misread a situation. That’s part of learning.

Help them reframe mistakes as social learning, not social failure. You might say:

• “That didn’t go the way you wanted, but it makes sense. You’re still learning what works for you.”

• “Even adults mess up socially; what matters is noticing and trying again.”

Let them know they can repair when needed, ask for feedback, and keep trying. Social growth is like any other skill: it gets easier the more you practice.

6. Look for Strength-Based Social Opportunities

Many teens with ADHD shine in settings that match their interests or allow for movement, creativity, or shared structure.

Encourage them to explore:

• Clubs that reflect their hobbies or passions

• Group therapy settings that teach social skills with peer support

• Volunteer projects, team sports, or interest-based camps

These settings often provide built-in structure, adult support, and peers who share similar interests, lowering the social pressure and raising the connection.

7. Avoid Shaming or “Fixing” Their Social Struggles

Even with the best intentions, parents can accidentally make a teen feel broken or inadequate by overly focusing on what they’re doing “wrong.”

Instead of saying:

• “Why do you always do that?”

  Try:

• “I can tell you want to connect, and I know this part is hard. Let’s figure it out together.”

Empathy lays the groundwork for self-confidence, which is essential for teens with ADHD to take social risks and keep showing up.

When to Consider Extra Support

If your teen consistently feels lonely, misunderstood, or frustrated in their social life, even when they’re trying, it might be time to explore extra support. Teen therapy can help them build social insight, confidence, and emotion regulation tools in a supportive and empowering space .