What is Friendship Anxiety?
Most people would agree that some relationships can cause anxiety. This might include romantic connections, family, bosses, neighbors, classmates, and more. But what about your crew? Do you ever feel anxious toward a good friend? This possibility is more common than might be imagined and is particularly prevalent in the digital age.
You see, friendships can cause the same kind of pressure and insecurities you’d feel with anyone else. Are we compatible? Do they think I’m annoying? Am I as important to them as they are to me? When so many interactions are done via text or DM these days, it can be more complicated than ever to figure out where you stand. It’s time to dig deeper into this idea.
What is Friendship Anxiety?
Friendship anxiety is most often related to social anxiety. Even when the person is someone you like and spend lots of time with, you worry about your connection. During your teen years, this can mean overthinking when you’re left on read or don’t get tagged in a post. You wonder if you’re the “replaceable” friend, and this sets off a spiral of worry and dread.
Without any objective evidence to go on, you convince yourself that your friend group never really liked you in the first place. If you don’t take steps to manage these perceptions, they can become carved-in-stone truths in your mind. How and why is this so common?
Friendship Anxiety: Possible Signs, Causes, and Triggers
Anxiety of any type is not easy to pin down. It’s the most common mental health issue in the world, but it can feel very different for each person it impacts. Here are some essential details to consider if you suspect you’re dealing with friendship anxiety:
Besides the overthinking mentioned above, friendship anxiety can cause you to stop trusting friends and loved ones. At the same time, you may engage in people-pleasing in an attempt to “win” them back.
Seeking constant reassurance often ends up having the opposite effect, as friends may become frustrated with having to continually “prove” themselves.
Your most common question: “Are you mad at me?”
You judge your value on your friend count (online and in-person).
Anxiety can cause physical symptoms like increased heart rate, shaky voice, and sweating when you interact with your friends.
All of the above can be triggered by increased social media usage, a family history of anxiety, relying on digital communication more than face-to-face conversations, or bad experiences with friends in the past.
How to Deal with Friendship Anxiety
As noted, each situation is unique. Even so, there are some powerful steps any teen can take to begin understanding and healing from friendship anxiety. Here are a few to get you started:
Accept That Something Needs to Change
It doesn’t make you flawed or weird if you sometimes struggle with social interactions. However, it does mean it’s time to step up. Do your homework on friendship anxiety (and anxiety, in general) and commit to learning how to create new ways to deal with friends, family, partners, and more.
Embrace Open Communication
Likely, your friends are struggling as well. If you become the one who will talk about emotions, you can be the catalyst for valuable change within your entire friend group.
Set Realistic Expectations
Make a list of what you want from your friendships. Be bold but realistic. Take a close look at this list and see if there are any wants that you can fulfill for yourself.
Be Patient
If you’ve recognized friendship anxiety and started taking positive steps, nice work. However, it’s essential to stay patient. Personal changes can take a while. Personal changes that directly connect to others can take even longer. The results are worth the wait.
To learn more about anxiety counseling, please don't hesitate to reach out soon.
